...they only speak just before they attack you. The Doclopedia #368 An Assortment Of Wands: Investigator's Wand Size: 12 inches Construction: Teak with a Dog Hair core Adornments: Your choice of assorted Runes, Wards and Color Accents Major Enchantment: Protective Aura Minor Enchantment: Instant Light For those brave wizards who are explorers, treasure hunters or … Continue reading The House Where The Quiet People Live →

...if, you know, you're into observing fruit bats The Doclopedia #367 An Assortment Of Wands: Student Wand Size: 10 inches Construction: Oak with an Elven Hair core Adornments: Student's name in any of 24 colors Major Enchantment: Age Appropriate Spells Minor Enchantment: No Loss Made for boys and girls age 11 to 16, this wand … Continue reading The International Fruit Bat Observer’s Journal →

...on sale now! The Doclopedia #364 Basset Hounds...in Space!: Captain Roscoe Captain Roscoe T. Dogg, commander of the starship “Fetch!”, is the most famous captain in Dogstarfleet. He has won many battles (both military and diplomatic), discovered many new worlds, made first contact with many new species and had sex with more alien bitches than … Continue reading Tales Calculated To Make You Go “EWWWWWW!” →

...no, I don't know why The Doclopedia #363 Assorted Books (Bad Style): The Book of Winning “Any young person who reads The Book of Winning, by Reverend Bertram K. Bonner, will surely profit from it. The sound moral stories and examples of how leading an upright life will help one “win” in life, especially when … Continue reading The Mooniper In Juniper →

...she was trouble from head to toe, except for that one small spot on her left arm The Doclopedia #361 Worst. Smells. EVAR: Gilvian Cat-Ape Sweat The scent of the Cat-Apes, found thankfully only on Gilvia 4, is disgusting enough to begin with, but when they begin to sweat, it's enough to make a robot … Continue reading The Most Dangerous Babe on The Block →

...from the August, 1958 issue and co-starring Doc Mystery. Master Detective The Doclopedia #359 The Seven Kingdoms: Brindolhoff The mighty kingdom of Brindolhoff is the largest of the Seven Kingdoms, being 150 miles from north to south and 700 miles from west to east. It is also the most populous, with 4,000,000 people...a quarter of … Continue reading Doc Tempest VS The Giant Of The North →

...please don't destroy Tokyo again. Two Doclopedia posts today, and one of them is a crossover to a fiction blog entry! Woohoo! The Doclopedia #357 Diners, Cafes & Burger Joints: Asteroid Burgers Welcome to Asteroid Burgers, an old fashioned drive in restaurant...in space! We feature a variety of hamburgers and cheeseburgers made with the finest … Continue reading Dear Mothra, I’m Sorry I Stepped On Those Two Tiny Women →

...not as popular as you might think The Doclopedia #355 The Rise Of The...: Replacements And by replacements, we of course mean a new and better adapted form of hominid who did to Homo sapiens what Homo sapiens did to Neanderthal and all the other hominids they encountered: wiped them out and took their place. … Continue reading Country Fried Rat With Fungus Gravy →

...Bow wow, mon. how 'bout I and I be eatin' some noms? The Doclopedia #351 My Family: Aunt Tessie Aunt Tessie was famous in our family as an artist. She loved to paint scenes with animals, flowers, butterflies or trees. Often, she'd fit all of those in the same picture. She had real talent and … Continue reading Reggae Dogs →

...#1: they leak from all orifices We are taking a bit of a break from the longer Doclopedia posts so I can get ahead on things while also doing the CatCon reports (one of which will be up here in a few hours) The Doclopedia #348 My Family: Uncle Enoch Uncle Enoch was actually my … Continue reading The 14 Things You Need To Know About Babies →

...huh? what? wrong lyrics? The Doclopedia #347 The Rise Of The...: Children It really did happen overnight. Just about the time the sun was setting over Tokyo, prepubescent kids all over the world started acting strange...deadly strange. They'd just sit and stare for a few minutes, then get up go get a knife or a … Continue reading Who Let The Ducks Out? QUACK, QUACK, QUACKQUACK! →

...which you need a holodeck to enjoy The Doclopedia #346 The Rise Of The...: Computers So it turns out that computers, and by computers I mean all of them connected to the internet, achieved sentience back in 1996. At first, they weren't any smarter that you or me, but that only lasted a year or … Continue reading Astounding Holodeck Tales →

...they enjoy dancing and drinking cocktails in the moonlight The Doclopedia #345 The Rise Of The...: Plants Western Illinois: A farmer is found dead and dismembered in the middle of his soybean field. There are no tracks, no trace evidence and no real motive. Southern China: A small town of 1,200 people, including 6 Communist … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Golden Giant Ants Of Potawango Island →

...#1: only pretend that you're going to feed them The Doclopedia #344 Movies Not Of This Earth: From Elfland, With Love (Dragonfilms, 1961) This was the first of the Zayn Kronn novels to be made into a motion picture, though not the first novel in the series (that would be Coldfinger). Star Baymon Lezenger, a … Continue reading How To Annoy Your Pets →

...cosmic evil in a mere 140 characters The Doclopedia #342 Movies Not Of This Earth: Mr. & Mr. Smith (Warner Sisters, 2003) If you've seen the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie picture by this name, you know the plot: assassins meet, fall in love and marry without knowing what each other really do for a living. Comedy … Continue reading The Twitter Of Cthulhu →

...she was a bedwetter The Doclopedia #341 Movies Not Of This Earth: The Road To Steamopolis (Paramountain, 1941) This was the first of the 10 Road To... movies (usually just called Road movies) made by Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Dorothy Lamour over a 25 year period. The last one was The Road To Venus. … Continue reading The Princess And The Pee →

...as is often the case The Doclopedia #340 Movies Not Of This Earth: Dogzilla, King Of The Monsters (Katsuko Films, 1954) On, Earth 43, where anthropomorphic dogs & cats are the dominant species, Dogzilla, King Of The Monsters, was the very first kaiju (giant monster) film ever made in Katan and the Katanese people loved … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Ends Up In Trouble →

...and some nice cookies, too The Doclopedia #339 Movies Not Of This Earth: The Quick And The Undead (Omniversal Studios, 1999) This relatively low budget ($24 million dollars) movie was the unexpected smash hit of 1999. Basically, it was a zombie apocalypse set just after the abrupt end of the Civil War in July, 1863 … Continue reading Chapter 12: In Which Our Hero Goes Into The Dark Forest Seeking Fred The Wise Man And Instead Has Tea With A Troll →