...from Big Damn Pictures, 1944 The Doclopedia #2,523 In Case Of Emergency: Put On This Ring Yes, my friend, in an emergency, this ring can save your life, for it allows you to teleport to any spot on the planet that you can see or picture in your mind. Why, the great wizard Varil Veedo … Continue reading The Dancing Elks In “Las Vegas Holiday”
Tag: Doclopedia
Is This The Way To The Stargate?
...I sure hope so The Doclopedia #2,522 In Case Of Emergency: Read This Out Loud If you are reading this, Young Servitor, you are probably being beset by hordes of the Unenlightened, most likely Cezzliks. While the Blessings of the Great Gooey God are with you always, reading the following will prove very effective in … Continue reading Is This The Way To The Stargate?
We Never Did Find Hector’s Underwear
...I think a squirrel stole them The Doclopedia #2,521 In Case Of Emergency: Eat This Cookie Greetings from Z Branch, 003. No doubt you are in quite a fix just now, so do read these instructions carefully.This cookie contains a highly effective compound that we were able to extract from a mutant fellow from Canada. … Continue reading We Never Did Find Hector’s Underwear
Spontaneous Digestion
...much more frightening than combustion The Doclopedia #2,520 In Case Of Emergency: Pour This On The Floor Okay, so we'll assume you are being chased through a building and it's not looking good. Well, as long as whomever or whatever is chasing you is not flying, this potion should help you. Just pour it on … Continue reading Spontaneous Digestion
Adventure S-1: Rescue Of The Goblin Princess
...for levels 3-5 The Doclopedia #2,519 In Case Of Emergency: Throw This Grenade Soldier, in your hand you now hold a VDD 315 Mark 5 Extreme Destruction Grenade, commonly referred to as a “Hellblaster”. Once you have pulled the pin, you must throw the grenade a minimum of 80 feet away from you, then immediately … Continue reading Adventure S-1: Rescue Of The Goblin Princess
Pudgy McFudgy And The Magic Plate
...a story for dull children The Doclopedia #2,518 In Case Of Emergency: Drink This Potion Good Sir, Madame, or Other: Despite the no doubt perilous nature of your emergency, please read the following before drinking this potion. If your answer to one or more is yes, then proceed to drinking it.1: Are you in a … Continue reading Pudgy McFudgy And The Magic Plate
A Sandwich Of The Highest Order
...and toasted, to boot The Doclopedia #2,517 It's All Fun & Games Until...: Aliens Eat Peaches No, Excellency, it was nothing the Terrans did. They were most gracious hosts. No, the fault lies in our food testing devices. They worked perfectly well in detecting things that would harm us in all of the expected ways, … Continue reading A Sandwich Of The Highest Order
Yoyo Cross And The Very Fancy Skateboard
...it cost $700.00 The Doclopedia #2,516 It's All Fun & Games Until...: You Wake Up In The Wrong Body Here you go, Kelly. Have a drink of water. No, no, please don't scream again! I swear, it's me, Hannah. No, really. Look, okay, I know this is way WAY strange, since I'm now in the … Continue reading Yoyo Cross And The Very Fancy Skateboard
This Episode Brought To You By Tastee Soap
...the soap that tastes like a meal The Doclopedia #2,515 It's All Fun & Games Until...: The Bomb Doesn't Go Off Why didn't the bomb go off, Henri? The bomb was supposed to distract them so we could have a smooth getaway! Now we've got about 50 fucking commie special forces assholes shooting at us, … Continue reading This Episode Brought To You By Tastee Soap
Truck Fump
...hard The Doclopedia #2,514 It's All Fun & Games Until...: Your Dad Sees The Bill So, this is my life now. Yard work in the front yard, back yard, both side yards, wash Dad & Mom's cars, clean out and organize the garage, wash dinner dishes, babysit my youngest sibs, and whatever else Dad tells … Continue reading Truck Fump
I Got Them Old Green Blues
...not the old blue greens The Doclopedia #2,513 It's All Fun & Games Until...: You Piss Off The Mountain Goats No, grandmother, we did not get up to the top of Ka'tchana. We almost got there, but then we encountered several mountain goats. We thought to just go far around them, but Otanta said that … Continue reading I Got Them Old Green Blues
Chapter 63: In Which Little Sally, Ned The Cat, And Two Drunken Nuns Save Our Hero From Certain Doom
...it was sacramental wine what got the nuns plastered The Doclopedia #2,512 It's All Fun & Games Until...: The Car Transforms No, Nick, I'm telling you, THE CAR TRANSFORMED INTO A ROBOT! Yes, a fuckin' robot! 15 feet tall and weird looking and PACKING MAJOR HEAT, NICK! So yeah, me and the guys ran like … Continue reading Chapter 63: In Which Little Sally, Ned The Cat, And Two Drunken Nuns Save Our Hero From Certain Doom
A Very Cool Move
...and totally unexpected The Doclopedia #2,511 It's All Fun & Games Until...: The Cats Go Crazy It was the cats, officer. They went insane. Yes, at least 30 of them. Yes, old Mrs. Flagler has 9 that live in her house, bit she feeds at least two dozen feral cats, too. Like I told your … Continue reading A Very Cool Move
Keep The Dice God Happy
...or you'll always roll fumbles The Doclopedia #2,510 Assorted Non-Player Characters: “Pigs” Valente Edward “Pigs” Valente, is a mid level mob guy in Las Vegas. He got his nickname early on by investing in his cousin Richie's hog farm. That investment earned him a couple of million bucks, so nobody teases him anymore.Pigs is the … Continue reading Keep The Dice God Happy
Please Insert Your Card
...no, not there The Doclopedia #2,59 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Fancy Fancy Jodao is a white female Persian cat that shares a home with the Jodao family in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. She is 4 years old, has blue eyes and is quite spoiled by her humans.She's also one of the top field agents fot the … Continue reading Please Insert Your Card
The Candy Gnomes Are Getting Too Old For This Shit.
...really, they are The Doclopedia #2,508 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Fazil Al Wazid If you are a tired and hungry traveler, the tents of Wazid are always open to you, assuming you have but the smallest amount of coin, of course.Located at the large Oasis of the Two Serpents, this comfortable waystation can offer clean beds, … Continue reading The Candy Gnomes Are Getting Too Old For This Shit.
We Buy Used Cryptids!
...if they are in good condition The Doclopedia #2,507 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Asmarak Quaseel Fenlod Asmarak is a busy woman, so you'd better damned well know what you want when you walk into her body modification salon on Turmoris 3. You probably also want to have a good chunk of money at your disposal, because … Continue reading We Buy Used Cryptids!
Seven Lucky Porcupines
...and how they grew The Doclopedia #2,506 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Wes Landry Wes Landry deal in transportation. Could be cars, could be horses, could be jets packs. Wes and his business can turn up in just about any genre. You can buy a good used mode of transport, or buy something new, because he has … Continue reading Seven Lucky Porcupines
Early Days At The Giraffe Ranch
...git them dogies movin'! The Doclopedia #2,505 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Stewpot Sammy In a major city in a modern fantasy setting, Stewpot Sammy runs a very popular cafe in the low income section of town. As the name implies, he is noted for his delicious stew, which also has the advantage of being inexpensive. A … Continue reading Early Days At The Giraffe Ranch
Don’t Take The Left Turn After Midnight
...or on alternate Sundays The Doclopedia #2,504 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Buggerhonk Buggerhonk is a goblin who lives in the undercity beneath a very large fantasy city. Unlike many of his species, he has no real desire to wage war on the humans, elves, etc. No, Buggerhonk moved to the city to make money and live … Continue reading Don’t Take The Left Turn After Midnight
Violent Guppies Terrorized My Blennies
...those damned little watery thugs The Doclopedia #2,503 Lost Movies of Earth 2-B: Hank and Earl Back On The Farm (1948)This was the last film in the popular “Hank and Earl' series of 6 films. These comedies from Columbia Studious followed the misadventures of Hank Grover, played by Paul Dibbs, and Earl Munk, played by … Continue reading Violent Guppies Terrorized My Blennies
Blizzard In The Game Room
...it was not that kind of snow The Doclopedia #2,502 Lost Movies of Earth 2-B: Gangsters Go To War! (1943) Another film lost in the 1950 Pittsburg Film Warehouse Fire, this was a comedy from low budget specialists World Film Production. The plot, such as it was, had several gangsters deciding to do their patriotic … Continue reading Blizzard In The Game Room
The Absolutely Unexpected, But Also Very Welcome, Return Of Mostly Purple Patty
...co-starring her pet newt, Kyle The Doclopedia #2,501 Lost Movies of Earth 2-B: No Light To Die By (1942) How can a movie be lost and still exist? By being too good at what it sets out to be, apparently. Directed by James Whale and starring Boris Karloff, Richard Franklin, June Denning, and Vincent Price, … Continue reading The Absolutely Unexpected, But Also Very Welcome, Return Of Mostly Purple Patty
What Can You Steal In A Cornfield?
...it was a legit question The Doclopedia #2,500 Lost Movies of Earth 2-B: Gold Rush Gertie (1939) Between 1936 and 1945, Warner Sisters made 8 movies in the “Gertie” series. Each movie starred Betty Zoles as Gertrude “Gertie” Wilson, a good natured, but clumsy, woman. Known for her great slapstick timing and wisecracking comments, Zoles … Continue reading What Can You Steal In A Cornfield?
Henry The Smelly Sheep
...he hangs out with skunks The Doclopedia #2,499 Lost Movies of Earth 2-B: Sherlock Holmes In Paris (1936 Despite being a cheap “poverty row” production and not being filmed anywhere near France, this was a surprisingly good Sherlock Holmes story. It featured Arthur Reedly as Holmes, Harold Barrett as Dr. Watson, Alice Wintergreen as Irene … Continue reading Henry The Smelly Sheep
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