...the lady goats swoon NOTE: These entries originally appeared in Alarums & Excursions The Doclopedia #2,711 Variations On A Theme: The Joys of X Scully and Mulder's Excellent Adventure Ok, so it's the year 2000 and our intrepid FBI agents (and odds are most games would have more than just two), deal with a different … Continue reading Sparky, The Love Goat
Tag: stuff
Very Nice, Mrs. L
...very nice indeed The Doclopedia #2,710 Pulp Characters In 50 Words Or Less: The Red Robot Very dangerous robot powered by a homicidal human brain. Stands 6 feet tall. Has 4 arms. Terrifying looking. Very hard to damage, but fire is a weakness. Can run on wheels up to 70 miles an hour. Tends to … Continue reading Very Nice, Mrs. L
Danger Was NOT His Middle Name
...it was George The Doclopedia #2,709 Pulp Characters In 50 Words Or Less: Deacon Blue Private eye in the Big City. Plays the saxophone. Drinks scotch whisky. Charges $50.00 a day, plus expenses. Tough, world weary, honest. Known to gamble. Carries a .45 and a sap. Drives an old Studebaker. Has a secretary named Penny. … Continue reading Danger Was NOT His Middle Name
Why I Can’t Eat Porridge
...it's a sad story The Doclopedia #2,708 Pulp Characters In 50 Words Or Less: Jungle Girl Is, in fact, triplets. Princesses of the M'Kwani tribe. Raised to compete and best men in all things. Protectors of the jungle and it's people & creatures. Does not deny rumors that she has magical powers. Feared by evil … Continue reading Why I Can’t Eat Porridge
Fat Bunnies
...so cute and chubby The Doclopedia #2,707 Pulp Characters In 50 Words Or Less: Delilah Tremaine Socialite, woman of means, ruthless crimelord. Wears a disguise as a man called “The Boss of Fear.” Specializes in blackmail, extortion, high profile robberies, and murder. Not a big fan of men in general and heroes in particular. Has … Continue reading Fat Bunnies
Chapter 956: In Which Our Hero Says “Fuck It” And Takes A Nap
...for about 5 hours The Doclopedia #2,706 Pulp Characters In 50 Words Or Less: Spuds Gomez Master automotive mechanic, engineer, and cook. Knows more ways to cook potatoes than anyone you've met. Works with/for a well known two fisted man of action. Likes kids and cats. Lover, not a fighter, but a good shot when … Continue reading Chapter 956: In Which Our Hero Says “Fuck It” And Takes A Nap
Uncle Doc Talks To You About Sleeping Basset Hounds
...who snore a bit The Doclopedia #2,705 Pulp Characters In 50 Words Or Less: Coleman Carter Ace reporter for the largest local newspaper. Average looks, average height, but smart and has a photographic memory. Dozens of contacts in all socioeconomic levels. Not loved by politicians or the police chief, but an okay Joe to everyone … Continue reading Uncle Doc Talks To You About Sleeping Basset Hounds
Pig People Are Nice
...and funny The Doclopedia #2,704 Pulp Characters In 50 Words Or Less: The Midnight Creeper Just shy of 7 feet tall. Fast, strong, relentless in dispensing justice. Dresses in raggedy clothing. Moves silently and can see in pitch darkness. Does not carry a gun, but does have many assorted knives. Can howl and growl like … Continue reading Pig People Are Nice
A Short Essay About Dogs Who Gamble
...they're into the cal loan sharks for 50 large The Doclopedia #2,703 A Selection Of Fine Traps: The Stinking Room Of Doom Something in this rom, which haas a good amount of loot in it, wil start to stink horribly after about a minute. It just keeps getting worse every few seconds. The stench will … Continue reading A Short Essay About Dogs Who Gamble
Attack Of The Mud Women
...oh, hell no The Doclopedia #2,702 A Selection Of Fine Traps: The Fire From Above Hallway This looks like a long hallway with no intersections or doors. When the PCs are about 25% of the way down it, flames will start shooting from the ceiling, moving down the hallway at fast pace.But all hope is … Continue reading Attack Of The Mud Women
The Kitchen Elves Are Boning The Cellar Pixies
...it's an orgy The Doclopedia #2,701 A Selection Of Fine Traps: The Unexpected Wine Tsunami Early on in the dungeon, the characters will come to a very large room with 6 enormous vats of wine, a tasting area, and 3 ghosts who beg them to sit, rest, and taste the wine. Unfortunately, all the wine … Continue reading The Kitchen Elves Are Boning The Cellar Pixies
It’s All Fun & Games Until You Take The Eye Out Of The Idol
...then, you are screwed The Doclopedia #2,700 A Selection Of Fine Traps: The Horrible Spinning Room A round room, 100 feet across and 15 feet high, with one big pillar in the center and 6 doors. It is all very fine wood, expertly carved. There are sofas, chairs, tables, and stools all over, seemingly carved … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until You Take The Eye Out Of The Idol
Homer, The Beer Lovin’ Steer
...he was a real sweetie The Doclopedia #2,699 A Selection Of Fine Traps: The Door Full Of Hornets It looks like a standard large door, locked with a simple lock. No obvious traps are to be found. But once the door is opened, you'll see the multiple 2 inch holes in the rear open, releasing … Continue reading Homer, The Beer Lovin’ Steer
The Somewhat Depressing, But Ultimately A-Okay Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Root Beer From Venus
...co-starring her great-auntie Eugenia Dotsnozzle The Doclopedia #2,698 A Selection Of Fine Traps: The Terrible Pit This seems like a standard pit trap that is 20 feet deep. It is easily detectable and once it is triggered, anyone who looks into it will see a good amount of loot, along with some bones, at the … Continue reading The Somewhat Depressing, But Ultimately A-Okay Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Root Beer From Venus
Buy This Book!
...no actual book for sale The Doclopedia #2,696 Big Mistakes: Turning Your Back On Your Lunch “Dudes! It was SO GREAT! There I am, in the living room, just licking my butt, as one does, when Dad walks in with a big plate full of food. I'm talking one of those 12 inch roast beef … Continue reading Buy This Book!
Little Demons Scared My Kobold
...he's still shaking The Doclopedia #2,695 Big Mistakes: Improperly Labeling Potions “It was my fault, yes indeed. I never should have let that idiot apprentice of mine label the potions. Going into a castle overrun by goblins and orcs is never easy, but it gets a hell of a lot more difficult when your swordsman … Continue reading Little Demons Scared My Kobold
Mr. Porkwaffle Meets A Moose
...it did not end well The Doclopedia #2,694 Big Mistakes: Poking The Bear With A Stick That is exactly what happened on April 3rd, 1982. JimBob Newland and his cousin, Rayford Mullins, were pretty well oiled after a night of drinking, which is why they decided to walk back to JimBob's place by using Foresthill … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Meets A Moose
The Baby Duck Newsletter
...SO cute The Doclopedia #2,693 Big Mistakes: Trusting Becky With The Diamonds Denny, Burt, and Joey were small time thieves in a very large West Coast city. One night, while burglarizing an older home in an older suburb, they found a small pickle jar full of uncut diamonds. Denny, by far the smartest of the … Continue reading The Baby Duck Newsletter
You Should Stop Here
...for a rest and a drink The Doclopedia #2,692 The Eyes Have It: Bug Eyed Tommy FBI File #4421-66-B Name: Thomas Luigi MortellaAliases: Tommy Morton, T.L. MadisonDescription: Average height, 165 pounds, black hair, brown eyes. Left handed. Multiple scars listed on reverse. Pronounced eye bulge due to illness as a child. Walks with a slight … Continue reading You Should Stop Here
That Time I Let A Dog Drive Me Home
...I was too drunk to drive The Doclopedia #2,691 The Eyes Have It: The Five Eyed Giant “There it is, gentlemen, the Five Eyed Giant of Ranjipur. 100 feet tall, solid stone superbly carved, and sporting those five huge gems as eyes. Diamond, ruby, sapphire, emerald, and another, bright yellow, diamond. Gems that we shall … Continue reading That Time I Let A Dog Drive Me Home
Wino Ballet
...pretty good, actually The Doclopedia #2,690 The Eyes Have It: Laser Eyes Laser eyes are expensive, yo. Dirty Gus got one as a third eye and it cost him 200,000 green. Shit, bro, he coulda got an Electro Z for less than that! Chicks see a laser eye and they don't GAF, cos you be … Continue reading Wino Ballet
Not As Much Fun As Sex
...or ice cream The Doclopedia #2,689 The Eyes Have It: The Eye Beast Of Grixx If you are an adventurer on FantasyEarth 753-D, you've heard of the Eye Beast of Grixx. You know that legend and even a few surviving eye witnesses tell how the Triad of Evil used their dying words to create an … Continue reading Not As Much Fun As Sex
Duke & Yoyo Go Looking For Trouble
...spoiler: they find it The Doclopedia #2,688 Bad Cats: Andy Breed: Russian BlueOffenses: This 3 year old boy has the uncanny ability to get in the way of humans, dogs, other cats, even livestock. He has tripped dozens of humans. He will lie upon, and hide, remote controls. Cupboard access? He blocks it. Use a … Continue reading Duke & Yoyo Go Looking For Trouble
A Short, Sharp, Shark
...he'll bite you The Doclopedia #2,687 Bad Cats: Farty Breed: American ShorthairOffenses: The farts, Lord Jesus on the Cross, the farts! When he walks into a room, animals and humans alike are gripped in terror. He may actually fall under the definition of committing crimes against humanity.
Halfling Antics
...those loveable scamps The Doclopedia #2,686 Bad Cats: Queen Cleo Breed: Maine CoonOffenses: This 5 year old giantess has assaulted 3 other cats, two dogs (both German Shepherds), several stuffed toys, cats on the television, 3 computer keyboards, numerous human feet, and her human brother's Warhammer minis army.
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