...and Otis the Gnu, too Ooooh! The 100th post! Yay! The Doclopedia #100 The Middle Of Nowhere: Dead End Junction Some will tell you it's down Arizona way, east of Tombstone. Other's figure it's nearer to Death Valley and then there's people that swear it's in west Texas or New Mexico. Whatever … Continue reading Frisky Skinks & Pouty Polecats
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Spangbiddlyboombangpow!
...bompdeebompdeebang Hey, kids! Today, we kick off The Middle Of Nowhere Week with entry #99 in our little series! The Doclopedia #99 The Middle Of Nowhere: The Phone Booth On The Edge Of Forever Right off, allow me to say that you can only find this phone booth (for those of you who … Continue reading Spangbiddlyboombangpow!
My Life Among The Teenage Aliens
...who spent most of their time whining and moping about The Doclopedia #98 Alt. Rocks: Brainstones Brainstones are a very rare type of mineral tumor found in the brains of various types of giants, most notably the cyclops type. The tumors grow very slowly, but always end up killing the afflicted giant. Once the brain … Continue reading My Life Among The Teenage Aliens
One Pill Makes You Larger And One Pill Makes You Small, But That One Helps You Pee
...or not pee, depending upon the pill Hey There, Readers! Even though I have tons of Doclopedia themes, I can always use a few more. If you have any ideas for subjects...THAT YOU CAN DESCRIBE IN 7 WORDS OR LESS...let me know in the easy to use comment section. Thank you!
Baked Squeebs In Butter Sauce
...because boiled squeebs are just plain nasty The Doclopedia #97 Alt. Rocks: The Sand Woman She's not actually made of sand, you know. I reckon she's made of ectoplasm or somesuch, but she takes up the sand to have a solid form. Under the moonlight, even up close, she looks pretty normal. And beautiful … Continue reading Baked Squeebs In Butter Sauce
Sherlock Holmes And The Adventure Of The Bathing Basset Hound
...a very damp case The Doclopedia #96 Alt. Rocks: The Growing Stones It's quite simple, really. If you get 'em wet, they start to grow, and brother, they grow fast! A rock the size of a brick will get 6 feet tall and double its diameter if you dump half a gallon of water … Continue reading Sherlock Holmes And The Adventure Of The Bathing Basset Hound
Mashed Potatoes Of Love
...with Danger Gravy The Doclopedia #95 Alt. Rocks: Stoney Flint, Elemental Detective On the Elemental Plane of existence, no fictional detective was more popular than Stoney Flint, Elemental Detective. First published in 1932 by Hydro & Pyro Press, the series lasted in the pulp magazine format until 1956. In 1969, the first paperback reprints … Continue reading Mashed Potatoes Of Love
Devil Gerbils From Hell
...as opposed to other gerbils from hell The Doclopedia #94 Alt. Rocks: Floaty Gravel Ahem! If you will open your textbooks to page 112, we shall discuss that most important discovery of this century, Gravity Negating Granite, or as I'm quite sure all of you call it, “Floaty Gravel”. This wondrous mineral was first … Continue reading Devil Gerbils From Hell
Invasion Of The Sausage Men
...old movie titles misheard #1 The Doclopedias #93 Alt. Rocks: George The Stone Golem In Fantasy Universe 4, the Godmages were constantly trying to kill one another with everything from exotic poisons (the Liquor of Internal Dissolving) to armies of magical creatures (Cyclopazons) to bizarre weather (the Godmage Elvoon was killed in his nightly … Continue reading Invasion Of The Sausage Men
Mexican Jenny And Bad Candy Bust Up A Beer Bash
...they rode in on the hood of a Camaro The Doclopedia #92 Alt. Rocks: Powerstones It is generally accepted that Magadalius Flinster was the wizard who created powerstones nearly 1,700 years ago. It would seem that he wanted to stop an incoming meteor from demolishing his newly finished castle, so he tapped into the … Continue reading Mexican Jenny And Bad Candy Bust Up A Beer Bash
Handsome Joe And The Mystery In The Garden
...a children's book title Finally, we come to the end of two weeks of Average Joes and retro 365 posts. Starting tomorrow: All new stuff with Alt. Rocks Week. 365 People, Places & Things #91 Our last Joe is just keepin' it clean. Average Joes: Joe Bosley, Street Sweeper Like I was saying, this is … Continue reading Handsome Joe And The Mystery In The Garden
Our Friend, The Squid
...number 12 in a series The Doclopedia #89 Average Joes: Joe Standing Elk, Fishing Guide Oh yes, my family has been fishing the Thames and it's tributaries since about 1320...not long after we conquered Britain. Of course, some of my grandfathers (the Cherokees on my mother's side) went on to fight the war in Austria, … Continue reading Our Friend, The Squid
Confessions Of A Sedum Collector
...gardening humorThe Doclopedia #88This time, we've got a Steampunk Joe.Average Joes: Joe Babbage, Steambus DriverYep, sonny, I've been running this old girl from the Bay Bridge to Daly City for the better part of 17 years now and you'll not find a more reliable Steambus in all of the Bay Area! Why, even when they … Continue reading Confessions Of A Sedum Collector
The Adventures Of Rabbit-Man
...Rabbit-Man, Rabbit-Man, does whatever a rabbit can! Hey, y'all, it's FRIDAY and to celebrate, here are TWO Average Joes! Man, I really spoil you kids. The Doclopedia #86 Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was...Joe. Average Joes: Joe Lucas, Droid Repairman Man, that is one banged up K5 unit you've got there. What … Continue reading The Adventures Of Rabbit-Man
All Kids Know About The Toe Eating Monster
...who lives under beds The Doclopedia #85 Yeah, Joe was average...the kind of average that a smart guy could use...the kind of average that could give a private dick an edge when it came to dealing with tough mugs and hot dames Average Joes: Joe Hinkley, Barber Me? Hey, I'm just the guy who gives shaves … Continue reading All Kids Know About The Toe Eating Monster
Doc Tempest vs The Rain Of Madness
...from the May, 1951 issue The Doclopedia #84 Arrr, this Joe be a right popular feller among the pirates! Average Joes: Joe Brown, Tavernkeeper Here ya go, matey, fresh off the boat from Jamaica today. That there rum'll put a wind in yer sails fer sure! Just got inta port, eh? Well, ye came at … Continue reading Doc Tempest vs The Rain Of Madness
The Rare And Beautiful And Huggable Giant Yellow Bunnies Of Potawango Island
...I'm gonna hug 'em and squeeze 'em, George. HAPPY 14th ANNIVERSARY TO MY SWEET ANGEL, GRACE! I love you, baby! And now... The Doclopedia #83 Yippie Ky Ay, Joe's in the Wild West! Average Joes: Joe Chang, Bathhouse Proprietor Yes, yes...you've come to the right place for a bath, sir. For only 50 cents, we'll fix … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful And Huggable Giant Yellow Bunnies Of Potawango Island
Atomic Pants
...really! The Doclopedia #82 Average Joes: Joe Konk, Security Guard Uhh, yeah, I'm the only security guard here at the ACME factory. It's rough work, but what else am I gonna do? I'm not good lookin' like Mickey Mouse or smart like Bugs Bunny. Besides, I recover pretty quickly from all of the … Continue reading Atomic Pants
The 35 Things That You Should Know How To Do To Avoid Crazy Women
...#1: Never associate with crazy women The Doclopedia #81 Average Joes: Joe Wyznowski, Cemetery Custodian Yeah, I know, it's a creepy job taking care of a cemetery. Some of my friends thought I was nuts, but hell, the pay is good and I get this nice little cottage to live in. It's a … Continue reading The 35 Things That You Should Know How To Do To Avoid Crazy Women
Coelacanth Breeder’s Quarterly
...now with full color photos! The Doclopedia #80 Average Joes: Joe Orion, Starship Mechanic Oh now, jeez, I haven't seen one of dese in years. An old Asimov 250 wit' jump drive, right? Gosh, this is a classic, don't ya know? There's a fella back home in Fargo has got one o' dese. … Continue reading Coelacanth Breeder’s Quarterly
A Somnambulist In The Pantry
...AKA my cousin Cindy 365 People, Places & Things #79 Yes, Joe exists in a standard D&D type fantasy world, too. Average Joes: Joe Smith, Blacksmith Aye, I'm the village blacksmith and so was my father and grandfather before me. You need a horse shod or a weapon repaired or a new weapon made, then … Continue reading A Somnambulist In The Pantry
Pizza My Heart
...isn't that a Janis Joplin song? The Doclopedia #78 Average Joes: Joe Doakes, Diner Cook So like I was sayin', ya work at a place like this...on a busy corner in a big city...and ya see all kindsa things. An' I ain't just talkin' about good lookin' dames and rich guys, either. Hell, … Continue reading Pizza My Heart
Girls Who Like Pie And Naked Hopscotch
...they were...aw, nevermind The Doclopedia #77 Average Joes: Joe Jones, Sanitation Engineer Yeah, I'm a garbage collector. So? Somebody has to do it and the pay ain't bad. Sure you sometimes end up smelling pretty funky by the end of the day, but a good shower and some Old Spice and yer a … Continue reading Girls Who Like Pie And Naked Hopscotch
The Purple Door Of Freedom
...it lead to a car full of stuff and a map outta town. The Doclopedia #76 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Coriaximal the Dragon Oak Hill is chock full of misfit monsters. Regular monsters hate the misfits and wish to kill them. Why don't they? The Oak Hill Dragon, that's why. Coriaximal, or Cori … Continue reading The Purple Door Of Freedom
The Seriously Twisted, Yet Still Cute, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Peabody Twins
...co-starring her pet margay, Philomena The Doclopedia #75 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Rowf the Kobold Oak Hill has a mighty fine sheriff, and he's not the kind of monster you might expect in that position. AD&D Monsters As Characters: Rowf the Kobold Once upon a time, a husband and wife team of human wizards … Continue reading The Seriously Twisted, Yet Still Cute, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Peabody Twins