...with bad attitudes . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,097 How Aliens Have Sex: The Vuunuufas For this species of aliens, it takes three to tango. The Vuunuufa are a humanoid species with some resemblance to pigs. They have three sexes: the sperm/egg producer, the egg/sperm producer, and the fertilizing partner. They all have … Continue reading Bad Ducks
Tag: Doclopedia
DON’T TURN AROUND!
...you turned around, didn't you? . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,095 How Aliens Have Sex: The Skeeords Skeeords are an Early Industrial race. They look like a cross between a orangutan and a cow. The sexes are generally the same size, about 6 feet tall and 300 pounds. When the female, who always … Continue reading DON’T TURN AROUND!
Chapter 294: In Which Our Hero Leaves Town Late At Night With A Pigeon, 11 Pounds Sterling And A Jar Of Quince Jam
...the pigeon was named Josephine . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,093 Stuff In My Pockets: A Business Card Normally, my business cards are in my wallet, but I had put thus in in my shirt pocket and forgot about it. It's for our friend Charli Willow's business, “Willow's Widgets.” Charli and her assistants, … Continue reading Chapter 294: In Which Our Hero Leaves Town Late At Night With A Pigeon, 11 Pounds Sterling And A Jar Of Quince Jam
Pig Racing Report
...all the latest racing news . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,091 Stuff In My Pockets: A Small Dog Biscuit This is a gourmet dog biscuit, one of 30 baked for Sasha back in 1920 by none other than Georges Auguste Escoffier. When you have a time machine, you can meet all the cool … Continue reading Pig Racing Report
What The Fuck, Jeeves?
...the book Wodehouse did not write . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,089 Stuff In My Pockets: A Sonic Screwdriver I don't normally carry one of these around, but this one ended up in my back pocket yesterday when I was looking for something in the tool room on the Bus. We probably have … Continue reading What The Fuck, Jeeves?
Doc Tempest And The Blue Madness
...from the March 1956 issue . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,087 Stuff In My Pockets: A Picture Of Harpo Marx This picture of Harpo Marx was one of many small ones that a guy in Hollywood on Earth 3-R sold me for 50 cents in 1969, local time. It's a shot from Duck … Continue reading Doc Tempest And The Blue Madness
Wife Adventures
...which I cannot discuss ever . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,085 Stuff In My Pockets: A Silver Dollar You know how in about, oh, 7,000 movies and television shows, somebody appears to get shot/stabbed/speared/whatever, and later you find out they survived because something in their shirt pocked saved them? Well, that's what this … Continue reading Wife Adventures
Thrilling Toddler Stories
...hard to understand, but thrilling nonetheless . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,083 Stuff In My Pockets: A Tiny D20 Lots of gamers have these tiny dice. You can buy them at game cons and game stores. That's exactly where I bought this one as part of a set. The set was black with … Continue reading Thrilling Toddler Stories
Uncle Doc Talks To You About Soup
...primarily, chowders and bisques . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,081 Stuff In My Pockets: A Comb It's a simple men's comb, the cheap kind you can buy anywhere. The thing is, it's special for two reasons: it's bright red instead of black and I got it from Errol Flynn back in 1938, just … Continue reading Uncle Doc Talks To You About Soup
Foul Opossums Threatened My Gerbils
....poor little gerbils . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,079 Twenty Miles Through The Goblinwood: The Third Five Miles Alright now, you listen up good to this, because this third leg of your journey is the most dangerous part. See, it's about now, when you've descended a bit into lower land, that you need … Continue reading Foul Opossums Threatened My Gerbils
Slugs On Parade
...a slow, slimy parade . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,077 Twenty Miles Through The Goblinwood: The First Five Miles Now you listen up, “adventurers”, because I done been through the Goblinwood and back. All it cost me was this eye, a gimpy leg and three of my best mates. Now, you lot'll be … Continue reading Slugs On Parade
I’ll Kick The Vampire While You Pimpslap The Lich
...that plan was ill concieved . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,075 Rocking The Steampunk: The Astounding Particle Man Nobody knows the true identity of the Particle Man, nor do they know what sort of mad experiment caused his body to become a mass of sand grain sized particles. What we do know is … Continue reading I’ll Kick The Vampire While You Pimpslap The Lich
Bucky & Squint Dig A Hole To China
...actually, they only got 40 feet down . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,073 Rocking The Steampunk: Mr. Roboto In June of 1898, the mad genius Dr. Okamatsu released his giant steam powered robot upon Japan. Known as “Mr. Roboto”, it first appeared outside Osaka, destroying everything in it's path. 80 feet tall and … Continue reading Bucky & Squint Dig A Hole To China
Ghost Biscuits
...they smell great . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,071 Rocking The Steampunk: Roland The Headless Automaton Gunner During the First World War (1885-1889) the first Combat Automatons were built and sent out to the battlefield. At first, they proved to be far less reliable than human soldiers, but all sides soon improved the … Continue reading Ghost Biscuits
Not In This Issue: Marsupials, Chocolate Cake and Cucumbers
...the cucumbers are in the garden . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,069 Rocking The Steampunk: HMS Iron Butterfly The HMS Iron Butterfly is the flagship of the Imperial British Air Fleet. It measures 300 meters long and has a crew of 120. It flies at a cruising speed of 85 miles per hour, … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Marsupials, Chocolate Cake and Cucumbers
The Juney Tuney Moony Looney Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And How She Stopped A Bank Robbery
...co-starring her pet newt, Griselda . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,067 Ask Me About My...: Purple Time Pants They were invented on Earth 207-G by some wackjob. Yes, they are purple, and yes, they will transport you back in time. 38 minutes back in time, assuming that don't electrocute you or burst into … Continue reading The Juney Tuney Moony Looney Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And How She Stopped A Bank Robbery
Orangutans Who Drive Sports Cars Cannot Be Trusted
...I mean, how could they afford it? . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,065 Ask Me About My...: Tooning Fork Simply put, a tooning fork turns an ordinary thing, living or not, into a toonis version of itself. Personally, I think it's funny as hell, but certain people in my family with whom I … Continue reading Orangutans Who Drive Sports Cars Cannot Be Trusted
I Was A Cornfield Scarecrow For The FBI
...so fuck you, crows! . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,063 Ask Me About My...: Favorite Chronological Anomaly Since we are talking about an anomaly in historical chronology, not a spacio-temporal anomaly, my favorite is probably is the one on Earth 2-D where radio was discovered in 1875 instead of 1886 and Marconi building … Continue reading I Was A Cornfield Scarecrow For The FBI
Battle Of The Bandanas
...a neverending war . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,061 Recipes For The Devout Worshiper: The Holy Breakfast Of Redemption For Self-Abusers What You Will Require Half a pound of falgonberries, picked by a virgin no later that 6 hours ago. The milk from a Sacred Goat of Plont, chilled. A small plain cake … Continue reading Battle Of The Bandanas
Ollie, The Pink Platypus Of Joy
...everyone loves Ollie . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,059 Recipes For The Devout Worshiper: The Glorious And Most Holy Stew What You Will Require 1 pound of kwug meat, taken from the hindquarters by a 3rd tier priest in accordance with the Holy Text. 1 pound of yimmalo meat, with fat and blessed … Continue reading Ollie, The Pink Platypus Of Joy
The Art And Science Of Surviving Dog Farts
...Step 1: buy a really good gas mask . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,057 New Breeds Of Dog: Skunk Dog You might think that if somebody was going to create a breed of pet that looked like a skunk, they would use cats to do it. You'd be wrong. The Skunk Dog was … Continue reading The Art And Science Of Surviving Dog Farts
Bug School
...for smarter bugs . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,055 New Breeds Of Dog: Weredog This very rare breed is not nearly as scary as the name implies, because when they undergo their change during the full moon, they just change into another breed of dog. Nobody is sure where the first weredog came … Continue reading Bug School
The California Kid Sells A Vanload Of Hot Cameras
...700 of them, to be exact. . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,053 New Breeds Of Dog: Dragon Dog This breed looks like a dalmation, but green with yellow-green spots. The tail is 50% longer than normal and semi-prehensile. The ears are upright and very pointed. As the name implies, these dogs can breath … Continue reading The California Kid Sells A Vanload Of Hot Cameras
A Few Words About Ducklings
...they're fuzzy and cute! . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,051 New Breeds Of Dog: Brazilian Tree Terrier This fearless little dog was first bred in Brazil to climb up fruit trees and scare off birds and monkeys. They have been known to actually kill both of those creatures when they can catch them. … Continue reading A Few Words About Ducklings
The True Story Of How I Helped A Newlywed Couple Run Off And Become Liberal Democrats
...their families were not amused . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #2,049 New Breeds Of Dog: Psychic Bassadoodle As the name implies, these dogs are half basset hound, half poodle and possess psychic powers. In overall looks, these dogs have slightly lighter bodies with longer legs than an ordinary basset. Aside from that, and … Continue reading The True Story Of How I Helped A Newlywed Couple Run Off And Become Liberal Democrats
