...you're surprised to see one out of water . The Doclopedia #1,762 Six Rumors I Heard...: In The Chow Hall . 1: I heard the Marines are all leaving tonight for an assault on Atlantis. It's going to be a bloody battle. 2: Folks are saying that those new pulse rifles aren't nearly as sturdy … Continue reading Lionfish Surprise
Tag: Doclopedia
You Can’t Potty Train A Hippo
...trust me, just don't even try . The Doclopedia #1,760 Six Rumors I Heard...: In The Tavern . 1: Them damn orcs is back up in the woods near the Old King's Road. Maybe a dozen of 'em. 2: Tisyna the barmaid is getting' ready to leave town with that elf fella that's been playin' … Continue reading You Can’t Potty Train A Hippo
A Bucket Of Barbecued Fleems And A Glass Of Yak Milk
...Mmmmm, tasty . The Doclopedia #1,758 Average Janes & Joes: Joe Turk . Aged 20, Joe Turk is the youngest chef in San Francisco. He works at BingBong Cafe, a Korean/Cajun fusion restaurant on Polk Street. He gets rave reviews and is probably the reason BingBong got a Michelin star last year. Joe looks younger … Continue reading A Bucket Of Barbecued Fleems And A Glass Of Yak Milk
The 4th Grade Spitball War Of 1964
...fighting was fierce until the teacher walked in . The Doclopedia #1,756 Average Janes & Joes: Joe Pyznowski . This Joe is the owner of J. P. Fresh Fish, and when they say fresh, they aren't kidding. The freshwater fish, shrimp, oysters and clams they sell all come from their own aquaculture farm one mile … Continue reading The 4th Grade Spitball War Of 1964
The Yellow Pixie Problem
...they're supposed to be green . The Doclopedia #1,754 Average Janes & Joes: Joe Ferdman . A respected Animal Control Officer in Wisconsin on Earth 378-H, Joe Ferdman is a common sight around the more rural areas of the state. He's been at the job for 30 years now and has trapped everything from forest … Continue reading The Yellow Pixie Problem
The Slightly Tipsy, But Also Ready To Dance, Story of Mostly Purple Patty And The Spiked Party Punch.
...co-starring her pet albatross, Todd . The Doclopedia #1,752 Average Janes & Joes: Joe Shimura . Joe Shimura is the Head Mechanic at the Reno Airship Port. He manages a crew of 64 mechanics. They service an average of 10 ships a day. Joe is 45 years old and stands 5' 9” tall. He weighs … Continue reading The Slightly Tipsy, But Also Ready To Dance, Story of Mostly Purple Patty And The Spiked Party Punch.
Angrily Slamming The Door On 2019
...fuck 2019 . The Doclopedia #1,750 The Colors: Silver . The Silver Warrior is a strange fellow indeed. Nobody has ever seen him without his helmet on, so there is no actual proof that he is human. Or male. Or even alive. For all anybody knows he could be a golem gifted with limited speech. … Continue reading Angrily Slamming The Door On 2019
Not In This Issue: Periwinkles, Periscopes Or Peridots
...or anybody named Perri . The Doclopedia #1,748 The Colors: Magenta . The lovely three petaled, lace edged magenta flowers of the Arbonga Vine are beautiful to look at and smell wonderful. They are also the last thing you'll probably see before the lightning fast vine wraps around you and begins exuding powerful digestive enzymes. … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Periwinkles, Periscopes Or Peridots
Otyugh In The Bathtub
...there was no place else to put him . The Doclopedia #1,746 The Colors: Dark Green . Dark Green is the primary color of a Jungle Dragon. Built along the same lines as classic Chinese dragons (long snakelike body, small legs, no wings), these tropical dragons can grow to 90 feet long. Of only average … Continue reading Otyugh In The Bathtub
Five Things That Parrots Like
...and not one of them is a fucking cracker . The Doclopedia #1,744 Most Wanted : Dalpox Walvin . Description: 4' tall, 9' across, light blue with black and yellow streaking, smells of frezent moss. Mouth area is wider than normal for a Uj Kaz. Wanted For: Treason, illegal mating, absorption of a Oj Pix, … Continue reading Five Things That Parrots Like
Handsome Joe Meets An Elephant
...at the zoo . The Doclopedia #1,742 Most Wanted : The Blue Man . Description: The villain known as The Blue Man stands 5' 5” tall and has a stocky build. He wears a sky blue suit that covers his entire body. Analysis of his vocal patterns indicate that he probably spent his youth in … Continue reading Handsome Joe Meets An Elephant
Zero Hour For Snake People
...fireballs away! . The Doclopedia #1,740 Most Wanted : The Big Pig . Description: The Big Pig, AKA Mario Porkoni, stands 6' 4” tall. He has brown eyes, black hair and 4 inch tusks. He has a 2 inch long scar on his chinny chin chin. He always dresses in expensive suits, He usually wears … Continue reading Zero Hour For Snake People
The Whole Truth About Jake’s Fancy Underwear
...it's a long story . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,738 Most Wanted : A-E 468 . A-E 468 is wanted for the following crimes. Freeing Human Slaves Arming Humans With Level 4 Weaponry Willful Destruction Of Unity Property Destruction Of Loyal Unity Robots Tampering With Unity Pure Thought Programming A-E 468 is a … Continue reading The Whole Truth About Jake’s Fancy Underwear
Dandelion Whine
...it's very annoying . The Doclopedia #1,736 Enchanted Household Items: Instant Boil Pot . This handy 2 quart pot is both stylish and pours out boiling water even if filled with ice a few seconds earlier. Despite pouring out water at a high temperature, the outside of the pot remains very cool. As part of … Continue reading Dandelion Whine
All You Can Eat For 50 Cents!
...two spoonfuls is all you can eat . The Doclopedia #1,734 Enchanted Household Items: Garbage Can Of Holding . As you may have guessed, this looks like an ordinary 50 gallon garbage can, but it holds a whole lot more. Six times more, to be exact. Of course, you will need to warn your garbage … Continue reading All You Can Eat For 50 Cents!
The Night It Rained Purple Paint
...we were 25 miles away and have witnesses . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,732 Enchanted Household Items: The Stirring Spoon . This medium to large sized spoon can be made of a variety of materials, but is most often wooden or steel. It has the simple enchantment of being able to stir whatever … Continue reading The Night It Rained Purple Paint
It’s All Fun & Games Until You’re Done Digesting The Chiles
...then you cry . The Doclopedia #1,729 Citizens Of The Galaxy: Sisss'ul . . NAME: Sisss'ul . HOME WORLD: Jaaan 2 . DESCRIPTION: Jaaanites look like large tortoises with spider legs and two spider heads on 5 foot long necks. They are almost all dark gray or black. . JOB: Sisss'ul is Quality Control Technician … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until You’re Done Digesting The Chiles
Mexican Jenny And The Cow That Freaked Out
...it just went crazy . The Doclopedia #1,727 Citizens Of The Galaxy: ???? . NAME: Hames Dornell HOME WORLD: Canus 4 DESCRIPTION: Hames is a human/canine hybrid. He looks like an anthropomorphic Labrador. His fur is black with white spots. He stands 6' 2” tall and has a stocky build. He wears glasses. JOB: Hames … Continue reading Mexican Jenny And The Cow That Freaked Out
A Pork Chop The Size Of a Manhole Cover
...smothered in gravy . The Doclopedia #1,725 Citizens Of The Galaxy: Oomgow Moomboolo . NAME: Oomgow Moomboolo HOME WORLD: Roovooloo DESCRIPTION: Looks much like an oak tree that has sinewy tentacles for branches and small scales for bark. Does not have roots. Moves around on a fleshy pseudopod like a snail or slug. Roovooloods have … Continue reading A Pork Chop The Size Of a Manhole Cover
Chapter 295: In Which Our Hero, Lost In The Forests Of Norway, Meets A Young Moose
...and then things got interesting . The Doclopedia #1,723 Citizens Of The Galaxy: Saruptyn 59621 . NAME: Saruptyn 59621 HOME WORLD: Huirvek DESCRIPTION: Saruptyn 59621 is a Baqion. They are a race of free willed, sapient, self replicating androids. They are found in 280 Sectors. They all look very much like Terran humans, but with … Continue reading Chapter 295: In Which Our Hero, Lost In The Forests Of Norway, Meets A Young Moose
Attack Of The Colossal Chickens
...60 foot tall atomic horrors! . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,720 Citizens Of The Galaxy: Rizzurk Skozz . NAME: Rizzurk Skozz HOME WORLD: Gergen 4 DESCRIPTION: Rizzurk is a Gergenite. He stands 3 feet tall and measures 5 feet long and roughly 24 inches wide. He has four arms and 6 legs. Like … Continue reading Attack Of The Colossal Chickens
My Life With The Banana Eating Hound
...she knows who she is . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,718 Random Character Creation (Espionage): What Do You Know? . 1: An international criminal organization is up to something. 2: A criminal mastermind up to something. 3: The Russians are up to something. 4: A South American dictator is up to something. 5: … Continue reading My Life With The Banana Eating Hound
The Day I Learned The Truth About Girls
...54 years later, I'm still confused by it . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,716 Random Character Creation (Espionage): Who Do You Work For? 1: CIA (USA) 2: S.H.I.E.L.D. (International) 3: MI6 (UK) 4: MSS (China) 5: Men In Black (International) 6: Agency T (Time Patrol) 7: ASIS (Australia) 8: OI-1 (Non-Human Terran) 9: … Continue reading The Day I Learned The Truth About Girls
I Was A Department Store Dummy For The FBI
...in the main window of Macy's . The Doclopedia #1,714 Random Character Creation (Espionage): Who Are You? . 1: Pond, Jane Pond 2: Smythe, David Smythe 3: Polyakova, Irina Polyakova 4: Martin, Jim Martin 5: Solveig, Marta Solveig 6: Kennedy, Nick Kennedy 7: Witkowski, Zofia Witkowski 8: Cho, Jin-woo Cho 9: Ankers, Beth Ankers 10: … Continue reading I Was A Department Store Dummy For The FBI
There’s No Stopping Mrs. Wangdoodle!
...she's on a roll . The Doclopedia #1,712 It’s In The Bag!: The Bag Of Holding . Korvic: This taking way too long, Atilda. Atilda: Spells of Detecting take a few minutes. I told you that already. Wado: It's a bag of holding, I tell ya. I've seen a dozen of them. Korvic: And how … Continue reading There’s No Stopping Mrs. Wangdoodle!
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