...that sounds fishy to me . The Doclopedia #1,794 Classified Ads: Pets Enhanced Cat: Lovelace is a 10 month old white Rex female. Spayed. Enhanced with limited chameleonic powers. Super friendly and very healthy. Eats regular cat food. Asking a $500.00 rehoming fee. Mated Pair of Spotted Curmas: 2 years old and super healthy. Male … Continue reading Cod Is My Co-Pilotfish
Category: Uncategorized
The 29 Things You Should Never Buy
...#4: severed human heads . The Doclopedia #1,791 People with Swords: Samurai Monkey . In the Country of the Animals, there are many evildoers who flaunt the laws of Emperor Gorilla. Samurai Monkey is the swordsman charged with punishing these miscreants. With his two swords and his great skill in battle, he deals out swift … Continue reading The 29 Things You Should Never Buy
This Is Probably Just A Dream
...wakey wakey . The Doclopedia #1,789 People With Swords: Melanna the Magnificent . It was after her very first trip into a dungeon, as part of a fairly large party of adventurers, that Melanna decided that just knowing how to cast spells was not enough. After all, once a Wizard uses up their daily allowance … Continue reading This Is Probably Just A Dream
Not In This Issue: Pogo Sticks, How To Cook Veal, Skunks And Easter Bonnets
...next month, easter bonnets for sure . The Doclopedia #1,786 People With Swords: The Clockwork Swordsman . Nobody knows who built the Clockwork Swordsman, but there are reliable reports that he has been around for at least 200 years. Since the Swordsman himself cannot speak, he can’t confirm or deny any of the reports. You … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Pogo Sticks, How To Cook Veal, Skunks And Easter Bonnets
Bigfoot At A Truck Stop
...trying to get some breakfast . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,782 Spies: Secret Alien Man . In May of 1900, a small spacecraft crash landed near Cody, Wyoming. The pilot survived the crash and was able to modify his physical form so that he could pass for human. After destroying his now useless … Continue reading Bigfoot At A Truck Stop
I Can Turn Water Into Wind
...fucking typo! . The Doclopedia #1,780 Spies: Circe LeBeaux . Circe is a freelancer who works for whoever pays her…and she’s not inexpensive. She uses seduction on men (and some women) whenever she can, but is also very well versed in all of the other tricks of the spy trade. Although she doesn’t like doing … Continue reading I Can Turn Water Into Wind
Moss Is The Key!
...nope, know idea where that came from . The Doclopedia # 1,778 My Earliest RPG Characters: Willy Wabbit Madcap Toon Muscle: 7 Smarts: 9 Zip: 8 Chutzpah: 9 Shticks: Quick Change/Disguise, Bag of Many Things Beliefs & Goals: Everybody else is a chump, so you can feel free to mess with them. Being crazy is … Continue reading Moss Is The Key!
Mr. Porkwaffle Finds A Treasure
...and gets taxed for it . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,776 My Earliest RPG Characters: Sir Mallard Gloranthan Duck Knight Strength: -1 Constitution: +1 Dexterity: +2 Intelligence: +1 Wisdom: +1 Charisma: +1 Advantages: Small and Quick, Brave, Noble Disadvantages: Arrogant, Different (he’s a Duck), Short Powers/Gifts: None Primary Skills: Shortsword +1, Short Bow +1, Dodge +2 Background: Sir … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Finds A Treasure
Chapter 881: In Which Young Nell, Passing As A Teenage Boy, Joins The British Navy
...pretty sure she hasn't heard of rum, the lash and buggery . The Doclopedia #1,774 My Earliest RPG Characters: Brother Willow Monk Strength: +2 Constitution: +2 Dexterity: +4 Intelligence: +1 Wisdom: +2 Charisma: +1 Advantages: Low Profile, High Pain Threshold, Unfazeable Disadvantages: Too Trusting, Will Not Use Weapons (other than his walking staff), Foreigner Powers/Gifts: Enhanced Speed (+1 … Continue reading Chapter 881: In Which Young Nell, Passing As A Teenage Boy, Joins The British Navy
Hey! It’s The Funny Hat Guys!
...those wacky guys in their crazy hats . The Doclopedia #1,772 Aliens: Grikk . Grikk (his proper name is Grikkkkkkkikikkkkkakkkikakorrrkakorkik) is a District Leader of the Wrok (proper name: Wrokokaaakakikiokarkarkikokik) species of aliens from the planet Renzeb 4. The Wrok first came to Earth 120,000 years ago and have been living here quite contentedly ever … Continue reading Hey! It’s The Funny Hat Guys!
Hairy Pupper And The Ghostly Goat
...it haunted Dogwart's . The Doclopedia #1,770 Aliens: Dorgash 9933 . Dorgash 9933 is the owner and captain of the freighter “Red Gnartok” and is known across the Thousand Suns Empire as an honest businessbeing. Her crew, which numbers 15 beings from 4 species, are very loyal to her and she to them. Together, they … Continue reading Hairy Pupper And The Ghostly Goat
Big Tiny And His All Cat Orchestra
...meow! . The Doclopedia #1,768 Aliens: Dweeno . Dweeno is 12 inches tall and looks for all the world like a stuffed teddy bear. He has a very sweet disposition and everyone who meets him likes him. Dweeno is also a very accomplished quantum drive mechanic and can brew a wonderfully potent ale that his … Continue reading Big Tiny And His All Cat Orchestra
Frantic Muskrats Trampled My Begonias
...it was just terrible . The Doclopedia #1,766 Aliens: Lorigal . Lorigal is the sole surviving member of the ZhuKot race. When the various slave races rose up and destroyed the ZhuKoth, Lorigal was barely able to escape. Unfortunately, his ship developed an instability in it’s hyperdrive and he had to abandon ship in a … Continue reading Frantic Muskrats Trampled My Begonias
Not The Worst We Could Do
...but not for lack of trying . The Doclopedia #1,764 Six Rumors I Heard...: In The Castle . 1: Did you hear? The King and Queen had quite the row last night and now he is going off to his hunting lodge for a week, no doubt to practice his bum kissing for when he … Continue reading Not The Worst We Could Do
Lionfish Surprise
...you're surprised to see one out of water . The Doclopedia #1,762 Six Rumors I Heard...: In The Chow Hall . 1: I heard the Marines are all leaving tonight for an assault on Atlantis. It's going to be a bloody battle. 2: Folks are saying that those new pulse rifles aren't nearly as sturdy … Continue reading Lionfish Surprise
You Can’t Potty Train A Hippo
...trust me, just don't even try . The Doclopedia #1,760 Six Rumors I Heard...: In The Tavern . 1: Them damn orcs is back up in the woods near the Old King's Road. Maybe a dozen of 'em. 2: Tisyna the barmaid is getting' ready to leave town with that elf fella that's been playin' … Continue reading You Can’t Potty Train A Hippo
A Bucket Of Barbecued Fleems And A Glass Of Yak Milk
...Mmmmm, tasty . The Doclopedia #1,758 Average Janes & Joes: Joe Turk . Aged 20, Joe Turk is the youngest chef in San Francisco. He works at BingBong Cafe, a Korean/Cajun fusion restaurant on Polk Street. He gets rave reviews and is probably the reason BingBong got a Michelin star last year. Joe looks younger … Continue reading A Bucket Of Barbecued Fleems And A Glass Of Yak Milk
The 4th Grade Spitball War Of 1964
...fighting was fierce until the teacher walked in . The Doclopedia #1,756 Average Janes & Joes: Joe Pyznowski . This Joe is the owner of J. P. Fresh Fish, and when they say fresh, they aren't kidding. The freshwater fish, shrimp, oysters and clams they sell all come from their own aquaculture farm one mile … Continue reading The 4th Grade Spitball War Of 1964
The Yellow Pixie Problem
...they're supposed to be green . The Doclopedia #1,754 Average Janes & Joes: Joe Ferdman . A respected Animal Control Officer in Wisconsin on Earth 378-H, Joe Ferdman is a common sight around the more rural areas of the state. He's been at the job for 30 years now and has trapped everything from forest … Continue reading The Yellow Pixie Problem
The Slightly Tipsy, But Also Ready To Dance, Story of Mostly Purple Patty And The Spiked Party Punch.
...co-starring her pet albatross, Todd . The Doclopedia #1,752 Average Janes & Joes: Joe Shimura . Joe Shimura is the Head Mechanic at the Reno Airship Port. He manages a crew of 64 mechanics. They service an average of 10 ships a day. Joe is 45 years old and stands 5' 9” tall. He weighs … Continue reading The Slightly Tipsy, But Also Ready To Dance, Story of Mostly Purple Patty And The Spiked Party Punch.
Angrily Slamming The Door On 2019
...fuck 2019 . The Doclopedia #1,750 The Colors: Silver . The Silver Warrior is a strange fellow indeed. Nobody has ever seen him without his helmet on, so there is no actual proof that he is human. Or male. Or even alive. For all anybody knows he could be a golem gifted with limited speech. … Continue reading Angrily Slamming The Door On 2019
Not In This Issue: Periwinkles, Periscopes Or Peridots
...or anybody named Perri . The Doclopedia #1,748 The Colors: Magenta . The lovely three petaled, lace edged magenta flowers of the Arbonga Vine are beautiful to look at and smell wonderful. They are also the last thing you'll probably see before the lightning fast vine wraps around you and begins exuding powerful digestive enzymes. … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Periwinkles, Periscopes Or Peridots
Otyugh In The Bathtub
...there was no place else to put him . The Doclopedia #1,746 The Colors: Dark Green . Dark Green is the primary color of a Jungle Dragon. Built along the same lines as classic Chinese dragons (long snakelike body, small legs, no wings), these tropical dragons can grow to 90 feet long. Of only average … Continue reading Otyugh In The Bathtub
Five Things That Parrots Like
...and not one of them is a fucking cracker . The Doclopedia #1,744 Most Wanted : Dalpox Walvin . Description: 4' tall, 9' across, light blue with black and yellow streaking, smells of frezent moss. Mouth area is wider than normal for a Uj Kaz. Wanted For: Treason, illegal mating, absorption of a Oj Pix, … Continue reading Five Things That Parrots Like
Handsome Joe Meets An Elephant
...at the zoo . The Doclopedia #1,742 Most Wanted : The Blue Man . Description: The villain known as The Blue Man stands 5' 5” tall and has a stocky build. He wears a sky blue suit that covers his entire body. Analysis of his vocal patterns indicate that he probably spent his youth in … Continue reading Handsome Joe Meets An Elephant
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