...EWWW! The Doclopedia #3,392 Odd Jewelry: The Yellow Eyed Amulet Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Price & Karloff Auction House. Tonight we will be taking bids on some extremely rare and unusual jewelry that until recently was in the possession of Professor Zane, leader of the unfortunate expedition into the ruins of Barzhkala. We … Continue reading Fingers And Toes On A Plate
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Oiling Up The Sex Droids
...gotta have that lube The Doclopedia #3,391 Zombies 101: Giant Zombies Yes, my Queen, we saw them with our own eyes. Up near the town of Triple Falls it was. The hill giants, 16 footers, was sleeping when a dozen zombies silently came out of the woods and attacked them. Yes, Your Highness, the giants … Continue reading Oiling Up The Sex Droids
More Songs About String And Waffles
...blueberry waffles The Doclopedia #3,390 Zombies 101: Werezombies What happens when a zombie infects a werewolf in human form? This sort of shit happens! You get a fuckin' undead werewolf that's way harder to kill than a normal one,but it's also faster, stronger and more vicious than any zombie. The good thing about 'em is … Continue reading More Songs About String And Waffles
The Bigger Than Life, But Still Cozy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Crazy Hot Dog Machine
...co-starring her older sister, Partly Puce Paloma The Doclopedia #3,389 Zombies 101: Fast/Smart Zombies These motherfuckers are the ones to watch out for. They can run and think. If they get the slightest edge on you, you're fucked. These are the type that took out those 30 Marines over in Collinsville last year. Christ, they've … Continue reading The Bigger Than Life, But Still Cozy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Crazy Hot Dog Machine
A Quick Check In On Murgy
...he was okay The Doclopedia #3,388 Zombies 101: Slow/Smart Zombies Now, these deadoids are just as slow and stumbling as the regular ones. If you run at a decent trot, they'll never catch you. The problem is that they're smart enough to think ahead and figure out ways to make up for being slow. I … Continue reading A Quick Check In On Murgy
Fish Juice
...popular with otters The Doclopedia #3,387 Zombies 101: Fast/Dumb Zombies If these zombies get the drop on you, you're screwed. But them getting the drop on you means they get really lucky, because speedy or not, they're dumb as hell. They just come running straight at you without dodging or anything. You still need to … Continue reading Fish Juice
Queen Drakka Of Ruzulia
...a very bad queen The Doclopedia #3,385 Assorted Lists: My Kaiju List King Klong...saw him in New York just as I came out of a deli. Dropped my bagel. Dogzilla...ran in terror from him in Osaka, and barely escaped. Chickenza...watched her attack Seoul from about 15 miles away. Should have been 20 miles away. Frogorah...ravaged … Continue reading Queen Drakka Of Ruzulia
Hot Potato In The Bed
...very hot The Doclopedia #3,384 Assorted Lists: Spells I Need To Learn 1: Amzolo's Exploding Kneecap 2: Protection Against Parasites 3: Delayed Blast Shitball 4: Flovin's Exit Locator 5: Rain Of Glue 6: Quick Clothing Rot 7: Convert Dirt To Cheese 8: Heal Social Disease 9: Miffin's Unbearable Itch 10: Mist Of Bard Silencing Support … Continue reading Hot Potato In The Bed
Uses For Gelatin!
...you won't believe #3! The Doclopedia #3,383 Assorted Lists: Useful Paladoxian Sayings 1: Where is the restroom? Ruk qulak sepsep? 2: I would like to buy food. Obok fetun wex plizzpok. 3: What time is it? Gopo tumek la? 4: How much for a quickie? Huxx ca engex liik? 5: Make it a double. Suwek … Continue reading Uses For Gelatin!
Dogs That Know Things
...goofy things The Doclopedia #3,382 Assorted Lists: Criminal Mastermind's To Do List 1: Find a secret lair. Rent? Lease? Buy? Don't surpass budget! 2: Hire new minions & thugs. Try to get a group rate. 3: Get scientists for the lab. Hire? Kidnap? Brainwash? Do a cost/benefit analysis. 4: Start planning first campaign of terror. … Continue reading Dogs That Know Things
Mrs Wangdoodle Tries The Fish
...and found it delish The Doclopedia #3,381 Assorted Lists: List Of Things I've Stolen 1: $300.00 from that dummy at the concert, because he was selling shitty weed. 2: That bigass diamond from the rich dame's house. 3: The $500,000.00 that Fred took the rap for because he missed prison. 4: Family bag of tacos … Continue reading Mrs Wangdoodle Tries The Fish
Who Knew There Were Toast Pixies?
...not me The Doclopedia #3,380 Assorted Lists: Guys I've Dated 1: Leo the mama's boy. Rating: 3/10 Could not stop talking about her. 2: Charlie the trucker. Rating: 6/10 Good in the sack. 3: Lance the self obsessed actor. Rating: 4/10 Gave him a point for being rich. 4: Tom the gaming geek. Rating: 8/10 … Continue reading Who Knew There Were Toast Pixies?
How To Train Your Wildebeest
...where the hell did you get a wildebeest? The Doclopedia #3,379 Stuff In My Pockets: A Seed Packet It's a packet of NuMex Big Jim chiles, a variety of the New Mexico chile. They grow nice and big and love our hot summers. They are perfect for chile rellenos, which love, so I'll be freezing … Continue reading How To Train Your Wildebeest
The Truth About Wearing Armor
...not advisable if you have IBS The Doclopedia #3,378 Stuff In My Pockets: Shoestrings I found these six tie dyed beauties in a box when I was moving things around in the game room. I don't remember buying them, but that could have been 20 years ago. Anyway, they'll look cool on my new sneakers … Continue reading The Truth About Wearing Armor
Butch Actually Wasn’t
...but he thought he was The Doclopedia #3,377 Stuff In My Pockets: Doggie Poop Bag I have two dogs, so most of my pockets have one or two of these in them. Of course, you can use them for other purposes. I once sold one to an alien who gave me $23.00 for it. I … Continue reading Butch Actually Wasn’t
Who The Hell Creates A Booger Golem?
...or even thinks of one The Doclopedia #3,376 Stuff In My Pockets: Five Nails These were left over after I built a soil sifter a couple of weeks ago. One of them is bent because a neighbor dropped a big bag recycle stuff just as I went to pound the nail. I'll toss that one … Continue reading Who The Hell Creates A Booger Golem?
Yoyo & Duke Go Camping
...at the Honolulu Hilton The Doclopedia #3,375 Stuff In My Pockets: Gym Socks My socks got wet on a walk, soI took them off put them in a doggy poop bag and stuck it in my pocket. Of course, that was three days ago so I'd better wash them and dry them because I'm nearly … Continue reading Yoyo & Duke Go Camping
Baking Pie In The Warp Drive
...mmmm, pie The Doclopedia #3,374 Stuff In My Pockets: 36 Cents I found this in the dryer, so it must have been in a pants pocket or something and I took it and forgot about it. There isn't much you can buy for 36 cents, so I'll just hang onto it until next laundry day … Continue reading Baking Pie In The Warp Drive
How To Poop In A Dungeon
...quickly The Doclopedia #3,373 Stuff In My Pockets: Doggie Poop Bag I have two dogs, so most of my pockets have one or two of these in them. Of course, you can use them for other purposes. I once sold one to an alien who gave me $23.00 for it. I have no idea what … Continue reading How To Poop In A Dungeon
Devil Mice
...evil, but cute The Doclopedia #3,372 Stuff In My Pockets: Chicken Bone This is either something I took out of my dog's mouth, or an important item in a voodoo ritual. I'm not sure which, so I'd better go ask the dog. If it's not his, I'm going to just going to put it on … Continue reading Devil Mice
Not In This Issue: A Serious Discussion Of Trans-Quantum Drift As It Applies To Temporal Travel
...what? The Doclopedia #3,371 Assorted Rumors: About The King 1: Rumor has it the king can cast spells on his enemies, which is why we have had 50 years of peace. 2: I heard that when he turns 60, he's going to pass the crown to Princess Carina and then he and the Queen are … Continue reading Not In This Issue: A Serious Discussion Of Trans-Quantum Drift As It Applies To Temporal Travel
A Really Bad Time To Scream
...at 3:00 in the morning The Doclopedia #3,370 Assorted Rumors: About Miss Chiang 1: She killed her first two husbands because they cheated on her or some shit. Her husband now treats her really good. 2: She gave one girl an A+ on her finals because the other girls teased her. That girl got into … Continue reading A Really Bad Time To Scream
Dog Fart Terror Tales
...terrifying! The Doclopedia #3,369 Assorted Rumors: About Spanky Cola 1: That's that soda for kinky people. I think it has hormones in it or something. 2: It's named after a guy called Spanky that used to work at the factory back in the 1890s. 3: Dude, if you chug like, 3 cans of it, you'll … Continue reading Dog Fart Terror Tales
I Was A Ladies Bicycle Seat For The FBI
...somebody had to do it The Doclopedia #3,368 Assorted Rumors: About Green Lake 1: A cryptid lives in the lake. It looks like a huge snake with a frog head. 2: They say a crazy guy lives up there in the woods and he sometimes kills and eats a camper. 3: If you swim in … Continue reading I Was A Ladies Bicycle Seat For The FBI
And Now, A Raccoon Dancing With An Otter
...they're married with 6 kids The Doclopedia #3,367 Assorted Rumors: About Mount Bartus 1: The skeleton of the Great Dragon God is up near the peak, turned to stone 400 years ago by Wizard Hadolfus. 2: They say there's gold up in the caves on the south side, about two thirds of the way up. … Continue reading And Now, A Raccoon Dancing With An Otter
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