...blindingly fast! . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,107 Guest Authors Write Warning Labels: Robot Tree Trimmer By William Reger WARNING! Do not attempt to alter, adjust, tamper, or remove the Robot Tree Trimmer restraint chip. No matter what it says, it does not meet the requirements to be considered a sapient creature. … Continue reading High Speed Internut
Author: Doc Cross
I'm Doc. I live in Sacramento, California with my wife, Grace, and two dogs named Yoyo and Duke. I've been blogging for 22 years. I'm a TTRPG gamer, a gardener, dog lover, cook, and unrepentant scalawag. I write things that I think people might enjoy reading, especially if they are roleplayers or just strange. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff.
Cats Playing Cards, Bunnies Shooting Craps, Dogs Playing Keno
...it's casino night! . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,104 Guest Authors Write Warning Labels: Inflatable Armor By Kevin Rice Inflatable Armor ™ is fun for the whole family! It makes you bounce like a ball! It protects you from falls! The kids love it! WARNING: Inflatable Armor ™ offers no protection from … Continue reading Cats Playing Cards, Bunnies Shooting Craps, Dogs Playing Keno
The Seeing The Light At The End Of The Tunnel, But Still Cheerily Running Toward Danger Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Atomic Burp
...co-starring her long lost Uncle Otis Q. Spackleworth . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,103 The Minorka Story: In Which The OTHER Minorkas Taste The Strangeness It's been 2 weeks since Horace & Minnie Minorka left for Florida and I'm told that they are now in Gainesville and doing well in their new home. … Continue reading The Seeing The Light At The End Of The Tunnel, But Still Cheerily Running Toward Danger Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Atomic Burp
Mr. Sort Of Wrong
...but also sort of right . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,101 The Minorka Story: In Which Mr. Minorka Shuts Out The World, But Not His Wife Our Story Thus Far: After spending a couple of nights in jail (Mr Minorka) and a couple of nights under psychiatric evaluation (Mrs Minorka), they were … Continue reading Mr. Sort Of Wrong
My Life Among The Colorful Pirates
...blue, green and red . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,099 The Minorka Story: In Which The Cat Comes Back, Sort Of, To Ill Effect Well, folks, things down the street at the Minorka house were pretty quiet for a couple of weeks, aside from the day when Horace Minorka decided to dismantle his … Continue reading My Life Among The Colorful Pirates
The Secret Guinea Pigs Stake Out A House
...but why? . The Doclopedia #2,097 The Minorka Story: In Which The Ball Gets Rolling Things that Grandpa, Uncle Luke, Cupcake and Brownie Learned About Trebuchets Today. A watermelon hitting the side of a hospital makes a humongous splat. Then the police come to investigate. A slightly over inflated NBA basketball, when thrown high and about … Continue reading The Secret Guinea Pigs Stake Out A House
Lemur Party!
...ain't no party like a lemur party! . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,095 Saloons, Bars & Pubs: The Lucky Ace After a long hot ride across the prairie, a feller wants a drink, maybe to play some cards and a bit of sport with a pretty gal. In Coldwater, Colorado, that most likely … Continue reading Lemur Party!
The Adventure Of The Three Gingers
...by John H. Watson, MD . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,093 Saloons, Bars & Pubs: Geedak Tro Tro Located on the desert moon of Ulvak, this is the largest bar in Geedak City, a wild & wooly town that is home to miners, doolo hunters, fortune seekers and outlaws. Geedak Tro Tro is … Continue reading The Adventure Of The Three Gingers
That’s What Sidhe Said
...some of you will get that . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,091 Saloons, Bars & Pubs: Pismo Joey's You'll find Pismo Joey's right next to the old Clam Shack, there on the north side of Pismo Beach. Now, half of the place is where tourists and locals come got great fried clams and … Continue reading That’s What Sidhe Said
The Rare And Beautiful Wandering Pink Pine Trees Of Potawango Island
...not really tall, but pretty quick . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,089 Random Tables In Search Of An RPG: A Trap! 1: 2d6+2 Sword blades fall from the ceiling 2: A bomb with all red wires 3: A steel rod pops out at crotch level 4: Sloped and greased pit that dumps you … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Wandering Pink Pine Trees Of Potawango Island
Her Nickname Was Spanky And So Was Her Lifestyle
...or so I've heard . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,087 Random Tables In Search Of An RPG: Things To Search For 1: A diamond the size of a duck egg 2: The murder weapon 3: A bomb 4: The villain's hideout 5: Treasure 6: A missing person 7: A lost robot 8: A … Continue reading Her Nickname Was Spanky And So Was Her Lifestyle
Mud Babies
...cute, but muddy . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,089 Random Tables In Search Of An RPG: An Ally 1: K-Bo, the DJ 2: Professor Winklemoore, Chemist 3: Rufus, a large goat of high intelligence 4: Sister Esperanza, amateur detective 5: Jake, a down on his luck veteran 6: Gina, a taxi driver 7: … Continue reading Mud Babies
Module J-2: The Island Of Slime Hags
...for characters level 3-5 . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,087 Random Tables In Search Of An RPG: Powerful Magic 1: Wand Of Many Spiders 2: Rejastro's Spell Of Face Melting 3: Scroll Of Fast Escape 4: Ring Of Slime Creation 5: Staff Of Bonecrushing 6: Minzel's Dust Of Lust 7: The Ancient Jewel … Continue reading Module J-2: The Island Of Slime Hags
We Had The Secret Meeting On The Big Bridge
...just in case somebody needed to be thrown off of it . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,089 How Not To...: Rob A Bank Suggested by Gaylin Chev . I can tell you three ways to not rob a bank. Don't ask how I know this stuff. 1: Do not gather up a crew … Continue reading We Had The Secret Meeting On The Big Bridge
Lock Robster
...we were at a party . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,087 How Not To...: Talk to Aliens Suggested by Gaylin Chev . Well now, that entirely depends upon the aliens you are speaking to, doesn't it? I mean, every memberspecies of the Galactic Counsel communicates using one of the 16 versions of the … Continue reading Lock Robster
Looking For Mr. Crowbar
...was that a book or a movie? . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,101 How Not To...: Alienate Friends Suggested by Nancy Aikman Martin . It turns out that the solution to alienating friends is the same solution to many things: DON'T BE A DICK! Be caring and understanding instead. Works every time. Also … Continue reading Looking For Mr. Crowbar
I Only Have Eyes For You, Plus A Couple Of Ears And One Finger
...and a foot. almost forgot the foot. . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,099 How Not To...: Meet Your Future In-Laws Well, you don't want to confuse the days and think your future in-laws will be there on Sunday morning when in fact they show up on Saturday morning after you and your future … Continue reading I Only Have Eyes For You, Plus A Couple Of Ears And One Finger
Bad Ducks
...with bad attitudes . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,097 How Aliens Have Sex: The Vuunuufas For this species of aliens, it takes three to tango. The Vuunuufa are a humanoid species with some resemblance to pigs. They have three sexes: the sperm/egg producer, the egg/sperm producer, and the fertilizing partner. They all have … Continue reading Bad Ducks
DON’T TURN AROUND!
...you turned around, didn't you? . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,095 How Aliens Have Sex: The Skeeords Skeeords are an Early Industrial race. They look like a cross between a orangutan and a cow. The sexes are generally the same size, about 6 feet tall and 300 pounds. When the female, who always … Continue reading DON’T TURN AROUND!
Chapter 294: In Which Our Hero Leaves Town Late At Night With A Pigeon, 11 Pounds Sterling And A Jar Of Quince Jam
...the pigeon was named Josephine . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,093 Stuff In My Pockets: A Business Card Normally, my business cards are in my wallet, but I had put thus in in my shirt pocket and forgot about it. It's for our friend Charli Willow's business, “Willow's Widgets.” Charli and her assistants, … Continue reading Chapter 294: In Which Our Hero Leaves Town Late At Night With A Pigeon, 11 Pounds Sterling And A Jar Of Quince Jam
Pig Racing Report
...all the latest racing news . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,091 Stuff In My Pockets: A Small Dog Biscuit This is a gourmet dog biscuit, one of 30 baked for Sasha back in 1920 by none other than Georges Auguste Escoffier. When you have a time machine, you can meet all the cool … Continue reading Pig Racing Report
What The Fuck, Jeeves?
...the book Wodehouse did not write . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,089 Stuff In My Pockets: A Sonic Screwdriver I don't normally carry one of these around, but this one ended up in my back pocket yesterday when I was looking for something in the tool room on the Bus. We probably have … Continue reading What The Fuck, Jeeves?
Doc Tempest And The Blue Madness
...from the March 1956 issue . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,087 Stuff In My Pockets: A Picture Of Harpo Marx This picture of Harpo Marx was one of many small ones that a guy in Hollywood on Earth 3-R sold me for 50 cents in 1969, local time. It's a shot from Duck … Continue reading Doc Tempest And The Blue Madness
Wife Adventures
...which I cannot discuss ever . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,085 Stuff In My Pockets: A Silver Dollar You know how in about, oh, 7,000 movies and television shows, somebody appears to get shot/stabbed/speared/whatever, and later you find out they survived because something in their shirt pocked saved them? Well, that's what this … Continue reading Wife Adventures
Thrilling Toddler Stories
...hard to understand, but thrilling nonetheless . Become A Patron . The Doclopedia #2,083 Stuff In My Pockets: A Tiny D20 Lots of gamers have these tiny dice. You can buy them at game cons and game stores. That's exactly where I bought this one as part of a set. The set was black with … Continue reading Thrilling Toddler Stories
The Dociverse Blog 