...mmmm, pie The Doclopedia #3,374 Stuff In My Pockets: 36 Cents I found this in the dryer, so it must have been in a pants pocket or something and I took it and forgot about it. There isn't much you can buy for 36 cents, so I'll just hang onto it until next laundry day … Continue reading Baking Pie In The Warp Drive
How To Poop In A Dungeon
...quickly The Doclopedia #3,373 Stuff In My Pockets: Doggie Poop Bag I have two dogs, so most of my pockets have one or two of these in them. Of course, you can use them for other purposes. I once sold one to an alien who gave me $23.00 for it. I have no idea what … Continue reading How To Poop In A Dungeon
Devil Mice
...evil, but cute The Doclopedia #3,372 Stuff In My Pockets: Chicken Bone This is either something I took out of my dog's mouth, or an important item in a voodoo ritual. I'm not sure which, so I'd better go ask the dog. If it's not his, I'm going to just going to put it on … Continue reading Devil Mice
Not In This Issue: A Serious Discussion Of Trans-Quantum Drift As It Applies To Temporal Travel
...what? The Doclopedia #3,371 Assorted Rumors: About The King 1: Rumor has it the king can cast spells on his enemies, which is why we have had 50 years of peace. 2: I heard that when he turns 60, he's going to pass the crown to Princess Carina and then he and the Queen are … Continue reading Not In This Issue: A Serious Discussion Of Trans-Quantum Drift As It Applies To Temporal Travel
A Really Bad Time To Scream
...at 3:00 in the morning The Doclopedia #3,370 Assorted Rumors: About Miss Chiang 1: She killed her first two husbands because they cheated on her or some shit. Her husband now treats her really good. 2: She gave one girl an A+ on her finals because the other girls teased her. That girl got into … Continue reading A Really Bad Time To Scream
Dog Fart Terror Tales
...terrifying! The Doclopedia #3,369 Assorted Rumors: About Spanky Cola 1: That's that soda for kinky people. I think it has hormones in it or something. 2: It's named after a guy called Spanky that used to work at the factory back in the 1890s. 3: Dude, if you chug like, 3 cans of it, you'll … Continue reading Dog Fart Terror Tales
I Was A Ladies Bicycle Seat For The FBI
...somebody had to do it The Doclopedia #3,368 Assorted Rumors: About Green Lake 1: A cryptid lives in the lake. It looks like a huge snake with a frog head. 2: They say a crazy guy lives up there in the woods and he sometimes kills and eats a camper. 3: If you swim in … Continue reading I Was A Ladies Bicycle Seat For The FBI
And Now, A Raccoon Dancing With An Otter
...they're married with 6 kids The Doclopedia #3,367 Assorted Rumors: About Mount Bartus 1: The skeleton of the Great Dragon God is up near the peak, turned to stone 400 years ago by Wizard Hadolfus. 2: They say there's gold up in the caves on the south side, about two thirds of the way up. … Continue reading And Now, A Raccoon Dancing With An Otter
Shifty Moles Threatened My Pigeons
...then the fight was on The Doclopedia #3,366 Assorted Rumors: About The Old Mall 1: It's gonna be turned into apartments and an indoor dog park. 2: A serial killer lives in it and the cops are too scared to go after him. 3: They're gonna tear it down and build a new one. 4: … Continue reading Shifty Moles Threatened My Pigeons
Something Spiffy Is Coming
...so get ready! The Doclopedia #3,365 Assorted Rumors: About George 1: George is a spy for a foreign country, probably France. 2: He often invites women to his house for “lasagna dinners”, but we know what that really means. 3: He's worth, like, $700,000.00 or so. He just drive an old beater to avoid suspicion. … Continue reading Something Spiffy Is Coming
The Pole Climbers Newsletter
...all the latest pole polls The Doclopedia #3,364 The Pranzar System: P5/Artema Our final planet of the inner Pranzar system is Artema, a Mars sized planet with very little atmosphere. Orbiting 240 million miles from the sun, it is a cold and rough world. The very few microscopic lifeforms native to Artema live in or … Continue reading The Pole Climbers Newsletter
The Tragedy Of The Trolls
...they all died The Doclopedia #3,363 The Pranzar System: P4/Zoroth Zoroth is 20% larger than Earth and about the same size as Wolquin. It is 100 million miles from the sun for most of its orbit, but does go out to 102 million miles during their summer months. The planet is 80% covered in water … Continue reading The Tragedy Of The Trolls
A Story About Clever Girls Making Cakes
...very clever cakes The Doclopedia #3,362 The Pranzar System: P3/Mioth At 85 million miles from the sun, Mioth is the first of two planets in the “Goldilocks Zone.” It is 2% larger than Earth, and is 68% covered in water, mostly warm shallow seas. The average temperature ranges from lows in the 40s to highs … Continue reading A Story About Clever Girls Making Cakes
Too Many Porcupines
...it was three The Doclopedia #3,361 The Pranzar System: P2/Umdelo We now come to Umdelo, which is 56 million miles from the sun. Like Foleth, it is a hot world. Unlike Foleth, it has an atmosphere and enough of magnetosphere to deflect most of the solar wind. Still, at an average of 140 degrees Celsius, … Continue reading Too Many Porcupines
People Who Have Crazy Hair
...I mean, REALLY crazy The Doclopedia #3,360 The Pranzar System: P1/Foleth Welcome to the Pranzar System, the latest star system brought into the Galactic Federation of Worlds. Enjoy the tour and ask any questions you may have. Kviguz and I will be glad to answer them. On screen now is Foleth, 33 million miles from … Continue reading People Who Have Crazy Hair
Gleepy Steals A Starship
....Oh, gleepy, you nut The Doclopedia #3,359 A Bag Of Many...: Shoes This is a very handy bag to own. Now, while the shoes are always your size, they may not before your chosen gender or for the purpose you need them. Still, you might look very stylish searching a dungeon wearing a pair of … Continue reading Gleepy Steals A Starship
Astounding Stories Of Amazing Mystery
...ooh, cool The Doclopedia #3,358 A Bag Of Many...: Creatures Yes, you can in fact pull a dragon out of this bag. Of course it will be a young dragon, probably no more than 30 feet long and cranky, but still a dragon. That's about the upper limit, although a very young mountain giant is … Continue reading Astounding Stories Of Amazing Mystery
The Predictably Strange, Yet Almost Romantic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Trip To Uncle Hank’s House
...co-starring her spooky Aunt Mabel The Doclopedia #3,357 A Bag Of Many...: Potions True, none of these potions are labeled, but consider that part of a fun exploratory game. Reach in, grab the vial, drink it, then see what happens! Could be something really great! Or, you know, you can do the boring trial and … Continue reading The Predictably Strange, Yet Almost Romantic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Trip To Uncle Hank’s House
Six In A Bathtub
...it was puppies The Doclopedia #3,356 A Bag Of Many...: Fruits Okay, so nobody much likes the durian or the Velzazi Urine Berries, but 93% of the fruit you'll get out of the bag are tasty and useful. The Chocolate Melons are particularly delicious. Besides getting great fruitmost of the time, this is a fine … Continue reading Six In A Bathtub
A Guide To Pianist Enlargement
...bigger and thicker The Doclopedia #3,355 A Bag Of Many...: Treats Treats of all sorts are inside this small bag. Need a treat for kids? You've got it! Something to entice and distract a monster? No problem! This fine leather bag has it all. Treats pulled from the bag will be perfect for whatever or … Continue reading A Guide To Pianist Enlargement
The Blue Pancake Affair
...they were blue, damn it The Doclopedia #3,354 A Bag Of Many...: Balls This magical bag is outwardly no larger than a 10 pound flour sack, but from it you can remove balls up to a meter across. Everything from ping pong balls to beach balls might come out, including magical balls like Ball of … Continue reading The Blue Pancake Affair
Mary Fleen Has It Under Control
...or does she? The Doclopedia #3,353 Alt. Conventions: KingCon A con for kings? On Fantasy Earth 12, you betcha! With roughly 1,500 kingdoms scattered about, and ranging from small to large, there are plenty of kings around to attend.Oddly, this convention is always held in the Coltaran Empire, which is ruled and dominated by women. … Continue reading Mary Fleen Has It Under Control
Mooncats Attack!
...the carnage was horrifying The Doclopedia #3,352 Alt. Conventions: Super Con Super Con is not a convention that superpowered people attend. No, this Earth 566-F con is actually where normal folks come to try and get superpowers and then, if they do get them, learn the ins and outs of heroing. There is also a … Continue reading Mooncats Attack!
Uncle Juicy Was Always Fun
...unless he was sober The Doclopedia #3,351 Alt. Conventions: Hippie Convergence West On Earth 4-A, there was no 1967 Summer of Love. Instead, from 1966 to 1972, there were SEVEN Summers of Love. By 1968, the phenomenon and culture could be found in many countries all over the world. Combined with the Influenza Pandemic of … Continue reading Uncle Juicy Was Always Fun
Not In This Issue: Warthogs, Spoons, Cheese Toasties, Or Mice
...mmmm...cheese toasties The Doclopedia #3,350 Alt. Conventions: DungeonCon This exclusive Earth 3-G gaming con is held in an actual dungeon. The brainchild of a very wealthy and not completely sane RPG gamer, this dungeon has 101 rooms, lots of hallways, non-lethal/injurious traps, secret doors, and even monsters. These “monsters” are either robots or gamers looking … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Warthogs, Spoons, Cheese Toasties, Or Mice
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